


Therapy Session

by eleuther



Series: Healing [5]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Fluff, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Light Angst, Past Child Abuse, Roger Centric, Therapy, Trauma, mentions of child abuse, mentions of trauma, therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 07:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21490783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleuther/pseuds/eleuther
Summary: Roger agrees to Therapy
Relationships: Brian May & Roger Taylor, Freddie Mercury & Roger Taylor, John Deacon & Brian May & Freddie Mercury & Roger Taylor, John Deacon & Roger Taylor
Series: Healing [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1490198
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	Therapy Session

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this for over a month. Not sure why it took so long. I did get distracted with Froger week though. 
> 
> This really doesn't have anything heavy, just some mentions of Roger having trauma and some fluff at the end. There is also mentions of that post-therapy exhaustion that no one ever talks about, so if that's something you have a problem with then this isn't for you! It's not really detailed, just kind of reminiscent of when I actually went to therapy.
> 
> A side note: thank you for all of the positive feedback during Froger week!! I had incredible fun writing the fics for that, and I may even do a follow up to some of them (day 2). And thank you to emma_and_orlando for organizing!! You're the best, babe! <3

**London 1976**

Roger has no idea why he let Brian talk him into this. Well, all of them, but Brian was the most insistent. 

He is _fine_. He doesn’t need therapy, he isn’t crazy. Yet he is still sitting here in this wretched waiting room. John had accompanied him there, and had been more than willing to join him in the session. Roger declined; he didn’t even need to be there in the first place and he did not need a chaperone. 

Now though the waiting was getting to him, and he wished that he told John to at least stay and wait with him rather than letting him go and get their shopping done. 

The thing that really scared him was the possibility of them actually finding something wrong. What if he was crazy? What if they sent him to a hospital on the other side of the country where he’d never see the band again?

What if that had been their goal all along? Roger’s heart rate went up at that, and he got so lost in the idea that he almost didn’t hear his name being called.

“Roger Taylor?” 

He jolted back to attention and stood quickly, almost throwing off his balance. The doctor gave him a kind smile, which he tried to return though he was sure it looked more like he’d swallowed a lemon. 

He followed the doctor a few paces behind, staring at the floor as he walked. He looked up when he heard a door open. 

“Come on in, Roger.”

His smile is still tight despite his attempts to make it real. 

The office is small; a desk decorated with photos of who he guesses are the doctor’s family. In front of the desk is two chairs, not the stiff ones he’d been expecting but comfy looking seats that for some reason made him relax. On the wall behind the desk is a series of diplomas, ranging from associates to doctorate. Around the room are colorful drawings, some looking like they were done by children, others drawing at Freddie’s educated level. He knew Brian had helped choose a general therapist, but he didn’t think he meant one that dealt with all ages. He didn’t want to be treated like a child. 

“Have a seat, Roger,” she said. “My name is Dr. Roben, but I usually let my patients call me Carol.” 

Carol gave him another smile, this time a calming one that Roger returned. 

“How are you today?” she asked.

“Um, alright, I guess,” Roger replied. “I don’t exactly want to be here, to be completely honest.” 

“That’s normal among my new patients. Rarely do I get someone who is looking forward to these appointments in the beginning. But eventually, if you stick with this, these will become a lot more… not enjoyable necessarily, but relaxed. You won’t feel so tense once you get comfortable.”

Roger hummed in response, knowing he likely wouldn’t last that long. 

“So what made you decide to come here?” Carol asked.

Roger laughed. “A friend, actually. There was an incident, while we were recording our latest album.”

“A Night at the Opera. My niece is a fan.” Carol smiled. “Can you tell me about that incident?”

Roger tensed. He didn’t want to think about that incident ever again, actually. Instead, he glanced out the window. 

“Tell me about the band, then.” 

Roger relaxed again, and smiled. He would talk about them forever if it meant he never had to relive his trauma. 

“Brian is the one who made me come here. He’s the guitarist. He, uh, we were fighting before the incident. He felt guilty about the whole thing, still does I think, even though I told him a million times that it wasn’t his fault.” He paused and looked up. “I know he means well, but I don’t feel like I should be here. I’ve been out of my situation for a long time now. I’m sure there are plenty of others who could be using this time with you. I mean, I’m fine. I don’t have any lingering problems, or whatever.”

“Except that incident you keep mentioning,” Carol replied. She leaned forward on her desk and clasped her hands together. “Roger, just because you’re no longer in a bad situation doesn’t mean it’s no longer affecting you. You still have lasting trauma, whether you want to admit it or not.” 

Roger stared down at his lap, twisting the rings on his fingers. 

“I don’t want to feel like this anymore,” he whispered, voice cracking. When he looked up Carol was smiling at him sympathetically. 

*

When Roger walks out into the waiting room John is waiting for him, arms laden with groceries. 

“How was it?” he asked, voice soft. 

Roger just shrugs, grabbing a few bags off his arms and heading for the door. 

In truth, he wants to sleep for the next week. He feels exhausted, yet he is sure they hadn’t talked about anything relevant. He mentioned Brian, and how guilty he felt. But nothing was the extent of it. 

Although maybe she had weaseled more out of him than he realized. She’s a therapist, no matter how kind she may be.

They walk home in silence. Roger knows he should probably say something so that he doesn’t bottle it up for some temper tantrum later, but he can’t seem to get the words out. It seems that John doesn’t exactly mind; every few steps he would rub his arm against Roger’s, a movement that seemed accidental but he knew was a form of comfort. 

They walked into the flat - really, at this point it was just his and Freddie’s again, but they had all been staying there since Roger had agreed to seeing someone. They didn’t tell him that, but he isn’t an idiot. 

“Hey John, Roger. How was the appointment?” Brian asked, smiling wide despite the concern in his eyes.

“Alright I suppose,” Roger replied. When he said nothing else, Brian looked at John, who shook his head. 

Dinner is eaten in silence when Freddie got home from wherever he’d been. He had a bright smile on his face but refused to allow anyone to see what he had with him. 

“It’s a surprise for later,” he said, eyes glinting with something akin to excitement.

He gracefully hadn’t asked about the appointment, which made Roger sigh internally in relief. He had given him a tight hug, however, which he gratefully accepted and appreciated.

After dinner they huddle in the living room; Freddie insisting that they have a slumber party and find some old film to watch on tv. 

“You are aware we have to get up in the morning, aren’t you Freddie?” Brian asked, though it’s only said to keep appearances. He’s already helping to bring blankets from the bedrooms.

“Well, of course, love. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun!” he exclaimed, eyes wide with excitement. 

They set up the makeshift beds - well, Brian set up the makeshift beds. Freddie had managed to get John pinned to the floor. 

“C’mon, darling, flip me over! I know you can do it.”

(John could, in fact, do it and they all knew that. He was just humoring him, really.)

Roger watches on in silence, wanting more than ever to just jump in and join them but he feels so tired. He is ready to collapse in a heap, but he can’t figure out why. 

“Rog, come here in the middle. You want to choose the movie?” John asked.

He just shakes his head and climbs into his designated spot. They bicker over their choices for a few moments, and Roger was sure that he would fall asleep before they had the chance to begin watching. 

“Rog, love, can you stay awake for me a bit? I wanna talk to you about something,” Freddie said, smile soft and reassuring.

Roger just nods and sits up, eyes still trying to close against his will. Freddie pulls him over to his side while Brian and John continue to argue over films. He slips an arm around the drummers shoulders, pulling him in for a hug.

“We’re all proud of you for agreeing to see someone, you know,” he started. “And we know that it’s not your idea of fun - or anyone’s, really - and I wanted to get you something as a sort of thank you. I know this wasn’t easy.” 

He pulls the bag from earlier into Roger’s lap. The blond looks at it curiously, before glancing up at Freddie who just nods. He opens the bag to find a black journal - not what he was expecting. Personally, he’d been hoping for a flask or something to bring with him to these sessions. 

“Talking isn’t something you enjoy, obviously. I know you have a few for your songwriting and that one that you use for random things you think of, but I was thinking this could be reserved for when you have those darker thoughts on your mind. That way when you’re older you can look back at those other ones and not suddenly be reminded of things you don’t want to be in that moment. And so you aren’t bottling up everything in that pretty head of yours.” 

Freddie is smiling softly at him, his eyes betraying nothing. Roger felt overwhelmed with love for him, for all of them; he would never have been able to do this without their support. 

“I love it, Fred,” he said, eyes welling with tears. “Thank you.” 

Freddie just tightens his hold, letting Roger cry for a moment in peace. They separate with smiles on their faces, both a bit watery.

“If you two are done with your cry-fest,” John said. “We’ve picked out a movie.” 

Roger chuckles as they all settle down again, bickering about who got to be next to him. He knew he wasn’t going to last more than five minutes into the movie, but let them argue anyway. He was flattered, really.

They finally settle, and Roger felt his eyes try to close again. This is the best part, he thinks, when he gets to relax with his best friends and let them put him back together after spending the day being picked apart. 

He wouldn’t change this for the world, he thinks as he falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave comments and kudos I need validation !!!


End file.
